


with a head and heart so full

by icemachine



Series: doom patrol daily drabbles [2]
Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 16:51:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20231167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: "Cliff," Larry breathes, and if Cliff could have one wish, one desire to manifest through magic, a genie gift,whatever... it would be the ability to feel Larry's breath, right now, right here, in Larry's bedroom, on Larry's bed. Not the ability to feel again, only the ability to feel Larry.





	with a head and heart so full

" _ Cliff _ ," Larry breathes, and if Cliff could have one wish, one desire to manifest through magic, a genie gift,  _ whatever _ ... it would be the ability to feel Larry's breath, right now, right here, in Larry's bedroom, on Larry's bed. Not the ability to feel again, only the ability to feel Larry. 

“This comfortable for you?” he asks. Larry’s bed is small, the lower half of Cliff’s body hanging off the end. It can’t be comfortable. He’s straddling Cliff as Cliff’s back rests against his wall, Larry’s legs shaking, and Cliff has a feeling that the shaking isn’t caused by pleasure.

“Yeah, it’s - yeah.” Larry pauses, grinds down - what Cliff imagines is harder, a faster pace. Beautiful. “It feels good.”

“Well,” Cliff laughs, “thank fuck. Finally.”

“What?” Larry asks, quickly, shame and fear dripping in his voice. Shit. Cliff can’t let his feelings hurt anyone else. Larry - he can’t hurt Larry.

“Just finish,” he says, grabbing him by the hips and pressing Larry further into him - closer - eternally closer. Larry moans, faint, but removes Cliff’s hands from his body.

“No. Cliff, did I do something wrong?”

God. He sounds terrified. He sounds broken. Because of Cliff, because of Cliff, because Cliff can never shut his fucking mouth and let himself rest, because Cliff is ungrateful, because Cliff has someone beautiful fucking him - or fucking himself on Cliff, but it doesn’t matter - and he still can’t escape his stupid emotions.

“You didn’t.”

“This was a mistake,” Larry says. “It’s always - this wasn’t a good idea. It just wasn’t.”

He goes to climb off of Cliff, swinging his legs over as Cliff splinters and shatters and ruins everything. And—

And Larry falls, onto the floor of his bedoom. He groans in pain.  _ Shit. _ So Cliff springs up, a false belief that he can help. “Here, let me…”

“No.”

“You’re in pain.”

“It doesn’t matter. Please, just leave.”

“Larry—”

“Cliff, leave.”

He watches Larry, imagines staring into his eyes, wishes he could stare into Larry’s eyes with his - a human presence - but it’s sick. Larry is beautiful, but, for every reason, Cliff is - was - is - different.

He can’t hurt another person. In the threshold of Larry’s door: “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You know I only said  _ thank fuck  _ because… sometimes I feel like a useless piece of scrap metal, right? I mean - the ANT Farm, right? When they labeled me for recycling, that fucking hurt… more than I thought it did.”

“Go on.”

“I can’t fuck. Not for real, not you. It’d be nice to feel it too, but if I tried to do anything with you, beyond… this, it’d kill me.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“What I’m trying to say is that you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just happy that you felt good. Really. That I could do something, at least something, for you. I didn’t realize that it sounded like I was saying something mean.”

“Oh,” Larry says, entirely too soft. Cliff knows that Larry has been hurt, knows the trauma. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus fuck, Larry, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Larry pauses. “That really hurt. Sensitive skin, you know… Cliff, can you just…”

He gets the hint. “Hold you?”

“Yeah…”

“Of course.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing cliff i am pretty sure so lsxcdkm;c sorry if it's ooc  
thank you for reading and as always feedback appreciated♥


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